ScarJo doesn't believe women

Note: this edition will be discussing Scarlett Johansson, Woody Allen, and abusers.

Scarlett Johansson keeps showing us who she is. I don’t think she’ll change and as the recent Vanity Fair interview shows, she isn’t going away. I would love to never hear her talk about Woody Allen ever again, but here we are. Yes, her position is EFFED UP, but instead of simply rewarding the publication with clicks and social media mentions until we move onto the next outrage, let’s also make an example of her.

OK, not quite like that.

What I mean is her vocal support for Woody Allen in both The Hollywood Reporter and Vanity Fair paints a clear look into the making of an enabler. I couldn’t resist writing about her because she is a great example of this kind of hypocrisy (and she reminds me of a few folks from my own life).

This quote is a remarkable piece of gaslighting. Johannson refutes that she doesnt’t support or believe women while saying she doesn’t believe Woody Allen’s victim who is, in fact, a woman. If Johansson is giving any support, it’s for only for Allen. From Vanity Fair:

The problem is that “believe women” (or my preferred version “believe survivors”) doesn’t preclude handling reports on case-by-case basis. It’s “believe women” not “women never lie” or “take everything women say at face value without question.” Believe women/survivors highlights how our society gives abusers—especially abusive men—the benefit of the doubt and are trusted more than women and rape victims across the board. (Read my deeper dive into what believe survivors means here.)

Johansson believes and supports some women. And that’s exactly how rape culture continues. No one thinks every victim is lying; all the little exceptions people make is where rape culture thrives.

Another thing enablers do emphasize how the accused never abused them as if that’s helpful or useful. Johansson was all about her experience, which isn’t exactly the road to informed decisions:

Abusers don’t abuse everyone. They are manipulative and they are liars. They need their allies to be content with not being abused. And it’s that selfishness that lets abusers thrive. Don’t let the pink pussy hats and viral hashtags fool you: it’s still infinitely easier to help out an abuser than to support survivors.

ScarJo is a shitty investigator

There are two ways I’ve seen colleges respond to handling sexual assault and harassment. Some schools see it as a serious safety problem that needs to be comprehensively addressed for the well-being of the community. Others see it as a burden they are forced to deal with, so they do the bare minimum. Risk management.

The latter reminds me of what Scarlett said in THR:

Johansson’s conversations with Allen—and only Allen—was risk management. It’s just to soothe any guilty conscious and tell others “well I know him. we talked about it” as if that’s enough.

We shouldn’t convict someone solely based on a victim’s testimony. So why are people like SJ so confident to exonerate just on the word of the defendant? Did she really expect him to say he did it?

Domestic abuse and child maltreatment expert Lundy Bancroft stresses the importance of friends and family in getting an abuser to change. Abusers will manipulate loved ones to avoid accountability at all costs. One great way to prevent that is to talk to the victim. He writes:

I hate the phrase “there’s two sides to every story” because it’s way more complex than that. But it’s worth noting that abusers will do everything to convince you their side is the only one worth hearing.

So much for due process.

She’s also a shitty friend—but a dream enabler

Good friends don’t shield you from the consequences of your actions. They assist you in positive development and growth. The myth that friends defend each other no matter what will always be exploited by abusers if we let them. Lundy writes:

Abusers are skilled in playing on people’s ignorance and misconceptions about sexual assault and abuse. I don’t know if SJ is feigning ignorance, but her true feelings are irrelevant. Either way, she’s the quintessential example of the countless hypocritical women who fail survivors once it gets too inconvenient.

(Remember when she called out James Franco for wearing a Time’s Up pin during her Women’s March remarks? “I have recently introduced a phrase in my life that I would like to share with you: No more pandering." I bet Woody loves a selective enabler like her!)

🚨Don’t be a Scarlett! Start your enabler prevention education today!

When prepping this newsletter, I noticed how much easier it is to Google content about supporting abuse victims; finding helpful, informed resources on supporting an abusive friend is much more difficult. That’s…not good. We need more resources on different ways to support abusers in non-shitty ways.

So here’s a little list to get started if you’re wondering “what do I do if my friend is accused of abuse?”

Learn about abusers and abusive behavior. It’ll help you feel more confident in countering potential abuser manipulations. Many people think they can judge from the abuser’s sincerity, but that’s not going to be helpful; many abusers truly believe their actions are justified and their cognitive distortions can make them convincing.

The only way to stop abusive behavior is to understand it—and the people who commit it. Education is a key defense to becoming an enabler. I recommend reading and learning before shit hits the fan—if you can.

Ask your friend questions! If/when the situation arrives, talking to the abuser is important. It can be uncomfortable to have these kind of conversations, but inquiring about their point of view is necessary to see if they approach the situation with an abusive mentality. Many abusers hope you don’t inquire too much because their stories will apart with proper scrutiny.

Talk to the victim. Abusers hope that you’ll be content to only hear their side. If you view the situation (and the victim) through their eyes, it’s a lot easier to only sympathize with the abuser. Then using rape myths, gossip, and other retaliatory methods start feeling justified to you, too. (As someone who’s had people say I lied about being abused, I can say one of the most hurtful parts is that they never bothered to talk to me about it. Please do your part to not add more hurt to a terrible situation.)

Remember believing the victim isn’t a blanket endorsement of their behavior—or a complete condemnation of the abuser. I honestly don’t think everyone should isolate an abuser. Having friends who hold an abuser’s feet to the fire would be a lot more effective (and productive) than shuttling all the abusers onto a remote planet.

This stuff can be messy and complex and abusers hope you’ll get scared away because of that. But justice, accountability, and safety shouldn’t be a burden that survivors carry alone. Abuse is a community concern and the sooner folks figure out how to engage properly, there’d be fewer Johanssons in the world. That’s the goal, anyway.

Further reading on abuse, abusers, and accountability:

• So one of your friends has been accused of somethings shitty by Hanna Brooks Olsen

• Chapter 2.2 Interpersonal Violence: some basics everyone should know in Creative Interventions Toolkit: A Practical Guide to Stop Interpersonal Violence. (PDF)

• Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Abusive Men by Lundy Bancroft and

• Love WITH Accountability: Digging up the Roots of Child Sexual Abuse by Aishah Shahidah Simmons (book | website)

• Disrupting the Bystander: When #metoo Happens Among Friends by AV Flox

Thanks for reading! Do you have any other resources or advice you recommend? Let me know. I am always eager to learn.

Original photo source: "Scarlett Johansson" by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. Edited by me.

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